But I don’t want to say his name. I’m not being political. I just don’t want to. It grosses me out. Maybe I should say his name. After all, I always loved that Harry Potter was brave enough to say, “Voldemort,” right out loud, while others called him "He Who Must Not Be Named." Maybe I’m not brave like Harry. But in this case, what I really think is that the atmosphere is already so full of this guy’s name, and has been for more than a year if you include all that disproportional free press during the campaign, which btw! helped him win the election!
Deep breath. Blood pressure check. Wish well to all beings.
But really, I don’t want to add my voice to what has already become an omnipresent cloud that every day looks more and more like “The Airborne Toxic Event” in the novel White Noise by Dom Delillo.
So what’s the solution? One of my favorite authors on Twitter has settled on not capitalizing the first letter, which gives you tRump, pronounced, “Tee-Rump”. I think that works. But even that is too close to his name for me, and the more destruction he wreaks, the more I am resolved that I’m going to continue not to use his name. There’s always POTUS, the acronym is President of the United States, but that's too dignified to suit, don’t you think? And for me, POTUS will always be Martin Sheen in The West Wing, which is good viewing right now by the way, if you want to disappear into a more caring alternative governmental reality.
So for those of you who are with me on this, who are maybe not meaning it politically, but are just, frankly, too grossed out to say the actual name, or for those who do mean it politically as a statement of withholding your personal investiture of power, whatever your reasons, here are some Alt Titles for the current you-know-what.
Here’s my list:
Flaming Ball of Hate
Personification of Greed
Embodiment of Short-sighted Self-Interest
Poor Huddled Masses Basher
Mars, the Wannabe God of Warmongering
Destructor in Chief
Dissembler in Chief
Liar in Chief
National Park Stranger
Sexual Assault Promoter, with a minor in Bigotry
The Bankruptcy King
“Ick” Factor Champion
Marvel of Devolution
That’s it for now, though I’m afraid there will be more.
Keep the faith people.
p.s. I don’t think any of this is funny, but that doesn’t mean that sometimes, you don’t just have to laugh anyway. :)